It really does take a village. Or in our case, step-parents.

My ex-husband and I have a rough history. I was 15 when we started dating, 17 when we (yeah, I said "we" because I strived to make him just as miserable as I was the entire 9 months and I think I did a pretty good job of it) got pregnant, 18 when we had our first son, and 19 when we got married. By the time I was 24 we had a total of 4 boys, a tubal ligation, and were separated. By the day ofter my 25th birthday we had our final divorce papers in hand. At the time I didn't think birthday gifts got any better than those papers. To say our marriage was unpleasant would be an understatement. I will just say for now that we were both very young, very immature, and one of us was resentful, mean, and took to drinking to off-set the unhappiness. I never regretted my decision to leave, and I still don't. I really think, and I believe he agrees, that divorcing was the best thing we did for our family. Not that we thought that immediately of course...

We both dated after our divorce. He found a girl who seemed OK with the kids, and I found a guy who I thought the same. Turns out we were both wrong. She cheated on him, ran around, basically broke his heart. Mine just showed me that he was all about me, but really couldn't stand any kids that weren't mini-adults. My children certainly never lived up to that, nor did I want them to. So they both got the boot. Eventually we both found the partners we ended up marrying. We found them around the same time, and never looked back. It was these two people who helped us make our family what it is today. I hear comments all the time about how I should hate my ex-husbands wife. I think these people are crazy. Why should I hate the person who will have such an important role in my children's lives? Who is that fair to? Certainly not them, and definatly not her. In fact I thank her. She helped my ex-husband and I slowly mend our relationship into the friendship it was before we ever got married. She helped us see that the only important thing was our children. Can't divorce them, even though some days I really wish you could. Really.

Anyway, the point of this long ramble was to say that it was slow going, but we have slowly developed a family of eight. That's four kids, and four parents. I still feel we as the parents are out numbered, but we manage. We have family dinner night at least one Sunday a month, taking turns at each others homes. We help with projects at each others homes, and we do joint birthday parties for our kids. Heck, we even take a couple vacations a year together. The kids have never been happier, and I can honestly say I call my ex-husband, and his new wife our friends. I know they feel the same about us. In fact when I finally got married (once burned, extremely shy there for me) about a year after my ex did, I sent a text message to him "well, I am married now". He knew were were getting married, and wanted to come, but we eloped. He immediately called and said that message made him tear up and he was so happy for him. He asked to talk to my new husband to congratulate him. As I handed Hubby the phone, I could hear my ex yell "Sucker!". It warmed my heart. Nothing is better than having a "village" of people to love your children. We are truly a blessed family.