(Not, Yours), Mine, and Ours...

I have to give Hubby credit, where credit is definitely due. He is one amazing step-dad. In my rant last night about having to clean up after everyone, I was in such a tizzy I forgot to mention that he not only helped the boys with homework, (a job no one wants, truly, pulling teeth is a much more pleasant pastime), and then played video games with them while I tried to sneak off for a nap, (made impossible by Roomie's constant texting me for shopping advice).

I think step-parents in general get a bad rap. Hubby has no biological children of his own. But he talks about mine, ours, as if they are his own. He has a luxury most Dad's don't have. He gets to be a friend. The boys already have a Dad. Now they also have a step-father, or even better, a friend. A man that is significant in their lives, yet approachable on topics a moody 13 year old might not want to discuss with his Dad, or even Mom.

One case in point was last year when J13 had some serious medical issues. We spent many, many weeks in the hospital with him. I stayed with him day and night, only leaving to grab food from the cafeteria. Hubby (not yet Hubby then) came every night to visit us. Ex and his wife kept the other 3 boys. Ex would often visit in the evenings as well, yet when J13 needed help bathing, it was always Hubby he turned to. His buddy. I don't know if a shrink would say it is healthy for a step-parent, or any parent for that matter to be a "buddy" to a child they are helping rear, but I know in my heart that my kids are blessed to have this relationship.

I had 4 proposals after my divorce. (OK, so one was my 8 year old) but I knew only one of them was truly right for me, and for my boys. Hubby is and always will be my best friend. He was long before we married. But just as important, he is also a great friend to my boys. So even when I am ranting about what a lug he is, I love my lug, with all my heart, and I would never give him up.